Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
