If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
