I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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