Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
