this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
