Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
