im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
