ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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