No stitches, just platelets and will power
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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