Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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