hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
we're so committed to being not committed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
