I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Randomize
