He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize