Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i think i just lost a toe
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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