After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
