just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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