I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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