no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
