The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize