What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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