You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
