That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the day after is always just damage control
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
