don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
