I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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