Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
