escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
