I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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