Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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