Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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