So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
