We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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