just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
