I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
