Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
