margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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