i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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