do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
