Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
