i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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