I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
