he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
