Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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