When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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