Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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