Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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