I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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