i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
