her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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