Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
