i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she told me i tasted like america
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
