love makes seman taste better
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
