I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
