how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
