He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
