If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
