so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
