There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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