Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
