I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
