would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize