its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
