How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
